8 Ways to Get Along in 2010 by Arnold Sanow is a Speaker, Seminar Leader, Facilitator and Coach
*Accept Other Points of View
Be open to accepting other points of view. Our tendency in many situations is to immediately become defensive when someone does not agree with us or sees the world in the same perspective as us. Look at opposing points of view as an asset and not a liability. As Steven Covey states, “focus on understanding others first than trying to have others understand you”
*Focus on Issues, not Personalities
Many people unknowingly use trigger words that can disable a conversation and
may ultimately destroy a relationship. Such words as, dumb, stupid, unprofessional
and poor attitude criticize the person and not the content of their ideas or specific
actions. Instead of saying, “Your idea is dumb” you might say, “your solution will
cost an extra $50,000 which we don’t have.
*Communicate Clearly
Clearly communicate your ideas so that others understand. Being able to get your ideas across in a clear and concise manner is one of the most important and sought
after skills. Always ask questions such as, “Am I making any sense?” or “Do you understand what I am saying”? Also, make sure you paraphrase what you have said
and if you see blank or confusing faces check for understanding.
* Don’t Create Nonverbal Drama
Your body language has many different connotations. For example, shaking one’s head, turning away from the group, shoulder shrugging, groaning, rolling eyes,
yawning and sleeping can all send the wrong message. It’s not what you say, but how you show it and say it that counts.
* Thank People
One of the most overlooked words in the English language is “Thank you”. Make sure you always thank people for their efforts and contributions. It’s not just
important to value people, but make sure they KNOW you value them.
* Admit Mistakes
The six most important words in the English language are, “I admit I made a Mistake”
* Share Yourself
Share your ideas, opinions and be open to sharing yourself. Sometimes this may feel risky but in the long run people will feel closer and more comfortable with you.
It also makes them feel more comfortable in divulging information about themselves.
* Be Interested vs. Interesting
Besides being the key to popularity, you also learn a lot about others and how to communicate with them.
For more information on Arnold’s Programs go to:
http://bureau.espeakers.com/simp/viewspeaker9980
Powerfully simple tips for an insightful speaker. Thank you. This blog provides a valuable service and a credible way to showcase your iinsightful speakers.
As a former NBC and Wall Street Journal reporter who’s spent eight years researching, speaking and writing about communicating to connect and collaborate, let me suggest a few more insights that have helped me – get along with others, especially when I practiced them 🙂 :…
• Go slow to go fast
• We can’t develop positive people with negative feedback
• What we praise in others, we encourage to flourish.
• Avoid the Attribution Bias, especially when bothered by someone’s behavior. They may be saying of doing “that” for different reasons than if you were to.
• Bring out others better side to make it more likely they’ll see and support yours
• Speak first to their interest, then what you share, then how you might collaborate to your mutual benefit
• Look to their positive intent, especially when it appears they have none.
• If you are arguing for more than ten minutes you may not be discussing the real, underlying conflict
• Because of our in-born “flight or fight” brain we instinctively react soon, longer and more intensely to what we don’t like than what we do. Thus it is easier to spiral down into conflict, rather up into camaraderie and collaboration. Therefore, keep uppermost in your mind the part of that person in front of you that you most like, and what matters most about your relationship with that person.
• Unflinching kindness in the face of cruelty can be your strongest protection