How Do You Restore Trust? by Kit Welchlin

When someone has lied to you, it can make you sick to your stomach.  You may still have to work with them.  How do you restore trust once it has been broken?

 

Well it won’t be easy and it won’t happen quickly.  It is disorienting when trust has been broken.  It is sobering to face future interactions with the person that betrayed your trust.

 

Here are some concepts to consider:

 

Never trusting and always trusting are inappropriate.

 

Some people behave in very untrustworthy ways and you need to cautious in your interactions with them.  Build a respectful and fair reputation, make it clear you will trust and verify.

 

Be absolutely and consistently trustworthy in your interactions.  Set a high standard of conduct.

 

Coach yourself to express acceptance and supportiveness to the damaged partnership, and look for something you can appreciate.  Try not to be sour.

 

Openly and consistently express cooperative intentions and set compelling cooperative goals to move forward with the work and in the relationship.

 

So, periodically engage in trusting actions, test the waters, and make yourself slightly vulnerable with your actions and comments.  Experiment with increasing dependence on each other’s resources, skills, talents, budgets, projects, activities, events, information, and expertise.  Create opportunities for interdependence. 

 

Studies reveal that more than two-thirds of relationships end upon the discovery of a lie or an act of betrayal.  But if you are stuck with them, and must work with them, you need to get started reestablishing the trust now.  These suggestions rely on taking the risk…just be sure it is a “calculated” risk.  

 

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